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[May. 27th, 2009|02:38 pm] |
| [ | mind |
| | artistic | ] | the computer is in my room now
jeff and katie turned the office room into a bedroom for cheyenne
we have a cable outlet in our room
which means.... INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!
im so excited... this time its going to happen, there are no more excuses... and then ill be set
my dream reclusive spot
thats not as nicely decorated but oh well
last week was hard
i almost deleted everything i hated the world
i felt lost and hurt and confused and abandoned
i didnt want to talk to anyone or go anywhere
i jsut wanted to dissapear in Chris's arms
jsut curl up and melt inside his chest where i could sleep in his heart for the rest of our lives
adn then... i got the feeling back
the feelings i used ot get in my old room, the stars shining against a midnight curtain window open with soft summer breexes fresh scents drifting through
my room filled wiht modest mouse and interpol and radiohead
perfection
i got is driving home listening to the new radiohead c.d., the car windows rolled down and it was 10 pm.... it jsut hit me
perfection
and then yesterday with my music in my room i felt like ME again
its been so long since i jsut became one with my music like i used to
maybe i can start painting again
i got to hang out with Nicole yesterday. that made me feel better about myself. i don't need friends as long as i have one genuine one.
............................................................
pluto is acting up again
i feel the change |
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| Comments: |
I'm glad you are feeling better. =) I love when there is that light at the end of the tunnel, especially when it means feeling at one with music. ♥ I am so glad you can come here at home now! I love having my little reclusive spot hehe.
you cute bastard, i so fucking love you :D
i know what you mean man.
UGH
yesterday i felt SO HAPPY for the first time in... well ever i guess. Then i started to feel used and used and used and i got so angry, and eventually got drunk and fell asleep, now im normal again. pretty typical of me, those fits i throw -- i love and trust the world, then i feel like um, kinda paranoid, and i get psycho and hate everyone and say 'fuck the world'.
anyway im so glad you got internet --- when are you gonna be on msn again? i miss you LOTS you know!
(btw i got a new msn now, only for the "really cool people", youre one of them -- im a recluse for the next months cos im so tired of all the bullshit, and im just hanging around with the basic cool people until im normal again)
come back! *HUGS*
Hey, I've seen your posts on some of the stamping communities and you seem pretty cool and I'm also friends with Mary (empty_party) and I'm interested in the Enneagram (I'm a 4w3 so/sx). Want to be friends? If so add me back. | |